Iron Sharpening

For Friday, December 7, 2007
Proverbs 27:17

Iron sharpens iron,
and one man sharpens another.

The image is that of a sword or some tool being sharpened by a whetting iron. Unlike the neighbor of verse 14 who shouts out shallow blessings or the quarrelsome wife of verses 15-16, the "iron" friend is one who listens and then has the good hardness to give constructive counsel, even if it needs to be critical.

The iron friend's goal is to sharpen his friend, to make him a useful tool for service or a good weapon for battle. He himself must be hard, not in the sense of being uncaring but of having strong enough character to a couple of ways. One is to be strong enough to care more about telling his friend what the friend needs to hear, rather than saying only what the friend wants to hear. He must be one made strong from having going through his own difficult struggles, so that he has good counsel to give.

Do you have such a friend? Are you such a friend? It is not easy. Iron hitting iron can produce sparks and at the least be grating (pun intended). But that is what friends are for. To be there for one another to support and to sharpen one another.

Bad Shelter

For Tuesday, December 5, 2007
Proverbs 27:15-16

A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
to restrain her is to restrain the wind
or to grasp oil in one's right hand.

One purpose of a home is to find shelter from the storms. To enter a home on a rainy day and find the roof leaking is discouraging at best. Being powerless to stop that leak during the storm stirs feelings of frustration. So it is to come home to a spouse who is quick to complain. There is no rest. But of particular frustration is the impotent feeling of being unable to stop the complaining. To restrain her, or the meaning may be to shelter her from her own storms, is like restraining the wind. Imagine standing in a strong wind with arms out trying to make the wind stop. Or imagine holding on to oil being poured into your hand. It can't be done, and it is particularly frustating to watch precious oil, meant to a soothing balm, slip through your fingers and fall wasteful on the ground.

The home is meant to be a place of rest. A marriage is meant to be a place to build up one another, to shelter one another. All the more reason then that tempers explode and patience is broken when storms enter into the home. All the more reason then to do whatever is necessary about yourself. If you cannot restrain the wind, then you need to think how to find the shelter you need.

God's Word tells us what that shelter is to be:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust" (Psalm 91:1-2).

Our complaining and our frustration says more about our failure to find the real Shelter than it does about the terribleness of the storm. A quarrelsome wife is a woman who does not find contentment in her Lord. A husband who retaliates does not turn to the Lord for his shelter and strength.

Do what is necessary - i. e. do what the Lord gives instruction about finding your peace, your shelter in him, so that you will be a wife who is a true helpmeet to her husband, and be a husband who is a true head sheltering his wife.

The Cursed Blessing

For Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Proverbs 27:14

Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice,
rising early in the morning,
will be counted as cursing.

There is the "friend" whom we wish would not be so friendly. He may think that he is sincere in his friendliness, but it is evident that he acts either out of neediness or of self-promotion. He does not think of what we truly need, but of what he wants to do. In this case, he blesses loudly early in the morning, disturbing us and our neighbors. If rebuked, he replies that he only wants to bless us.

And so, out of this "desire" to bless, this friend will impose himself upon us at all times of the day and night and in all sorts of manner. He will embarrass us and inconvenience us out of his perceived motive of love. A true friend loves by taking the time to observe us and know what pleases us and does not please us. A true friend thinks through what is a true blessing. In brief, true friend is respectful of his friend.

We can think of such persons who fit this description of the self-absorbed friend. Are we able to examine ourselves for such traits? It is difficult to separate acting for the good of a neighbor and acting to fulfill our own neediness. The key element is taking the time to observe our friend or neighbor before we act. It is taking the time to observe his body language, to listen to the tone of his voice, and to hearing from him first how he is doing. The true friend, the good neighbor observes first, then acts accordingly so that he blessing does not become counted as a cursing.

Cautious Loans

For Monday, December 3, 2007
Proverbs 27:13

Take a man's garment when he has put up security for a stranger,
and hold it in pledge when he puts up security for an adulteress.

The simple message here is to be cautious in loaning money or costly resources. It is one thing to give generously; it is another to freely loan or make risky agreements. To do the latter is to create troubling situations for everyone involved. Consider the three parties above (considering "adulteress" as synonomous with "stranger").

You have loaned money that you need back and now must depend upon your neighbor to be true to his word and pay up if the stranger (whom you do not know and cannot trust) does not come through on his end. If that stranger does not come through, the neighbor must somehow come up with money he evidently does not have (thus the reason he has approached you). Your neighbor is caught in the middle, having made his own risk. He has vouched for someone you have reason to suspect will not come through. Thus anxiety is created for at least you and your neighbor, and possibly hard feelings if the stranger does not pay up, which will only magnify if the neighbor then must come through and is unable. Even if the neighbor does cover the stranger, there will some difficult feelings between you and him.

How does taking your neighbor's garment as security help? First, if you are uncomfortable asking for such a security, then don't make the loan at all. You are doing no one a favor by making loans that you cannot afford nor freely give as a gift. But asking for a security of some kind does have the affect of making clear at the outset to the neighbor and the stranger the seriousness of asking for the loan. People will glibly promise to pay back, thinking all the while that the lender really doesn't care or at least can afford not to recoup the money. Asking for security impresses upon the receiver how serious you take his paying you back. This is especially important for the neighbor, as he will cause him to count the cost of the risk he is taking. It can be too easy to say, "I'll vouch for him." To make him prove his confidence in the stranger, will motivate him to be more sure of what he is doing.

It is good to be generous with what we have; it is also good to be wise. Indeed, it is only because we are wise with our money that we can afford to be generous. Give freely; loan cautiously.