The Power of Doing Nothing

For Friday, October 26, 2007
Proverbs 26:20

For lack of wood the fire goes out,
and where there is no whisperer,
quarreling ceases.

There is great power in talk. It only takes a few words to create a fire. A few words can enrage, humiliate, scandalize, create discension. A few words can break up friendships and loyalties, cast suspicion on people of integrity. A few words can spread trouble like winds spreading a wildfire.

In like manner, there is great power in silence. The spark that needs the wind to turn into flames dies out. The fire that has begun burns itself out. All you have to do is not spread the words. Such inaction is effective, not only because you are not a conduit, but because you set the tone for others to follow. The whisperer loses his boldness when you do not respond. The excitement of gossip loses its energy when you do not join in.

There is a thrill to spreading gossip that needs others to join in. Refuse to join and you ruin the "fun" of the other gossipers. Don't become a whisperer. You very inaction will make you a powerful firefighter.

No Joke

For Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Proverbs 26:18-19


Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death
is the man who deceives his neighbor
and says, "I am only joking!"


"It was just a joke." And so we excuse all manner of mean-spirited behavior and speech. We ridicule a person, and then when it is found out and he takes offense, we reply, "I was only joking." We play a prank that humiliates its victim, and when his feelings are hurt, we reply, "It was just a joke. Through the "joke" we say all manner of denigrating words and play demeaning tricks, but because it was a joke, then we are excused.


There may be a place for practical jokes and facetious humor, but we should be careful of using denigrating humor. And what we need to be careful of is not so much that the person receiving it can handle it, but our real motive in using it. Many a "joking" remark is made from deep-seated resentment or from arrogance. Many a practical joke has the very real intent of humiliating the victim, or at least shows a lack of regard for him.


We use the joke to hide behind real intent, oftentimes hiding from ourselves our intent. And so we need to ask before we quickly play the joke, what is our purpose. Is it to produce merriment for everyone, including the recipient, or is it to merely get a laugh for ourselves at someone's expense? We too easily claim the former, not admitting even to ourselves the latter. But the result typically reveals the motive. When the result is that of a firebrand being hurled, our motive needs to be examined. For either we did want to hurt or shame, or we are guilty of lacking regard for the victim.

Ear Grabbing

For Monday, October 22, 2007
Proverbs 26:17

Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own
is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.

As a dog will turn on and snap at whoever tries such a move, so will the quarrellers turn on whoever tries to "help." Helping is what we think we are doing when we involve ourselves. Isn't that what Christians are to do, especially when other Christians are quarrelling? Are we not to be peacemakers?

To be peacemakers, we must exercise wisdom. And the first step in wisdom is to discern when and when not to get involved. We need to discern when our involvement is true help or being meddlesome. Often our involvement only stirs the pot for a number of reasons. For one thing, we step into the middle without understanding. We don't understand the real cause of the argument, mistaking what they are fighting about as being the real issue, when it is much deeper. We get involved often when we have heard only one side of the story, not knowing that it is distorted. We get involved without being asked and thus earning resentment from both parties. Until they are ready for intercession, any attempt - especially any blundering attempt - will only aggravate them more.

We get involve for the wrong reasons. We overestimate our own ability, meddling in a matter that is beyond our skill. We tell ourselves we want to help, when we really want to be acknowledged for our help. Then we get offended when our help is not welcomed or acknowledged. We get involved with arrogance, believing that we know better than the quarrellers, that they are foolish or at least know less than we. Such arrogance and naivety is quickly seen and rejected.

When then do we get involved? Pray for wisdom and for the right opportunity. The Lord will lead. We can ask if our help is wanted, and do not be offended if it is turned down. The key is to pray and to observe well, biding our time.