Covering an Offense

For Friday, May 12, 2006
Proverbs 17:9

Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this, but..."
"He didn't want me to tell anyone, but..."
"Did you know..."
"We should be praying for..."

And so begins many a repeating of a matter that creates anger and suspicion that never should occurred. Every day we say and do things that we should not and did not mean to do. Someone gets frustrated and says something without thinking. Another gets nervous and acts in a way in which he knows better. But the sinful word or deed is now "out there." Will it be repeated? Will we pass it on, letting it be relived in our mouths and the ears of others?

It depends on how we respond to offense. Jesus said that when we are offended that we should go privately to the offender. If that does not resolve the matter, then to a witness, then to elders. In other words, seek to do will an offense privately with the intent for a peaceful resolution. But this proverb notes that there are times when it is best to overlook an offense. Indeed, if we were to bring up every offense we think we receive, our days would be marked by confrontation. Ephesians 4:2 tells us to bear with one another in love. This assumes that we will be offended, and we are called upon to take much of it in stride. After all, we (more often than we know) offend others. If we were confronted everytime we erred in our speech and acts, we would be weighed down in discouragement.

And if our mishaps were repeated - if the unthinking remark was reported or foolish act passed on - then we would be devastated as hurt and anger were compounded. Stop and pray before you confront someone about their offense. And do not repeat a matter unless you are compelled after much prayer. Whenever you share an offensive remark or deed, you place a burden upon the hearer. This is not a matter of minding your own business. It is a matter of acting in love, thinking what is best for everyone. If need be, seek godly counsel what to do. But always keep before you what demonstrates love for neighbor - both the neighbor who offends and the neighbor you are about to tell. Seek love.

The Good Bribe

For Thursday, May 11, 2006
Proverbs 17:8

A bribe is like a magic stone in the eyes of the one who gives it;
wherever he turns he prospers.

This proverb is translated in different ways, and this particular translation can be given two different interpretations: it is observing the way and perspective of the wicked briber but does not agree with it; or it is commenting on effective use of gifts, another translation of the word.

Other proverbs will comment on the evil use of bribes, but consider for now the appropriate use of gifts that in a sense are bribes. A husband who has offended his wife comes home with flowers to smooth the way for his apology. A new boss - wanting to break the ice his first day - comes in with coffee and doughnuts for his staff. A mother helps her child break into the neighborhood circle by inviting the children over for ice cream. There is a difference between paying off someone with a bribe or manipulating him for favors, and using gifts to smooth transitions and win goodwill.

Someone may reply, "I shouldn't have to give gifts to butter up anybody." Such an attitutde fails to recognize the need that we all have to be encouraged. And we will respond positively to those who encourage us, and we will be turned off by those who show no interest in how we feel. The person who appropriately gives gifts is giving attention to others. It is true that wicked people do this to manipulate, but wise and good people do this because they truly regard their neighbor and are desiring good results.

Who can you "bribe" today with cheer?

Fine False Speech

For Tuesday, May 9, 2006
Proverbs 17:7

Fine speech is not becoming to a fool;
still less is false speech to a prince.

Fine speech from the mouth of a fool comes out as mockery and sarcasm. That which should be deemed honorable is made to seem silly. The speaker is embarrassing. Having said all that, even worse is for a person of high and noble position to lie. Thus, as bad as it is for a president to be lampooned, it is worse for a president to lie with his noble words. As bad as it may be for those under authority to mock their superiors, the greater sin is committed by those superiors if they abuse their positions through lying. The fools demonstrate their own foolishness; the "princes" betray the character that should be inherent in them. The fools withhold honor they ought to give; the princes betray the honor given to them.

Of Grandchildren and Fathers

For Monday, May 8, 2006
Proverbs 17:6

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers.

This is a good reminder of what family relations should be. It is not merely a matter of having children who then have children. It is about investing in your family relationships so that there is a strong, loving bond, and that your children live lives that are deemed honorable. Fathers can forget this as they neglect their children. The result is the lesson learned by the father in Harry Chapin's song, "The Cat's in the Cradle." The father is too busy to spend time with his son. When the son grows up and gets married, he then becomes too busy to spend time with his father. The father ruefully reflects, "He'd grown up just like me."

Do you need to do some investing? Perhaps there are some relationships that need recultivating. Grandparents, do not neglect investing in your grandchildren. It is fine to give them presents, but even more than need your wisdom. They may not listen to you now, but they will remember your words. Tell them your stories; tell them about your faith. In coming years that might be what brings them through tough times.

And thank God for the bond between the Father and the Son. Such a bond enabled the Son go through the greatest trial of all. He could do so because he loved the Father who is his glory.