Gracious Words

For Wednesday, April 5, 2006
Proverbs 16:24

Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Consider the sweet effect of gracious words.

Complement: This is a word we often deny we want, but we certainly do enjoy when we receive it. Isn’t it nice to receive an honest complement, especially to get one totally unlooked for? “You really look nice today.” “You made a great contribution.” “That is a great job you did.”

Encouragement: “You can do it; I believe in you.” “You’re going to be okay.” “That’s the way to try.” Such words give us the strength to go on.

Comfort: How good it feels to hear a sympathetic voice when we are hurting. “I’m here for you.” “I’m so sorry.” “I’m praying for you.”

Helpful: “Can you use a hand with that?” “Let’s think through this together.” We don't feel alone. Some is there with us and for us.

Good humored: Sometimes the best thing we can hear when we are down or worried or angry is a good humored remark. There is nothing like a little laugh to perk us up again and help us to see that the end of the world has not come.

Positive: In most bad events and discouraging news, there is something positive. How heartening when someone helps us to see it.

Attentive: “How are you doing?” spoken honestly, is a meaningful question. “You look like you… could use a friend... could use some cheering up... are new here.” “You seem to have reservations about what’s going on.” It’s nice to have someone take notice when we are feeling too reserved to speak up.

Listening: “Tell me what you want to say; I’m listening.” “Help me understand what you are going through.” “Do you mean…?” It is satisfying to talk with someone who is foremost trying to hear what we are saying.

Thanking: “Thank you.” “Thanks for helping me.” “Thanks for your hard work.” “Thanks for listening.” How many times have our temper or depression been wiped away by the simple remark of thanks? I’ve been resentful, angry with persons who then come up to me and give a heartfelt thanks; all of a sudden, I switch to thinking how nice they are.

Gracious words are like honeycomb, sweet and healthful to the soul and body. They have tremendous power to change the course of a person’s life for the good, to rescue people from despair, and to bring great blessing. You don’t have to be rich or powerful; you don’t have to have degrees or be eloquent; just be gracious and you will significantly touch the lives of all kinds of people.

The Wise Heart

For Tuesday, April 4, 2006
Proverbs 16:23

The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious
and adds persuasiveness to his lips.

After the wise person speaks, his hearers believe they have heard someone who is fair and insightful. They benefit from his words; they admit where they have been wrong. Perhaps they were upset, and they walk away feeling calm and happy.

What happened? The wise person spoke from a heart that was right. The heart of the wise does not react; it responds. What I mean is that the wise does not give a knee-jerk reaction; he does not speak out of feelings of stress or feeling offended; rather he thinks through a matter, determining two things: what truly is at issue and how to communicate in such a way that wins a hearing. He is both just and persuasive.

Mishaps happen. How we respond to them determines whether these mishaps become opportunities for strengthening bonds or straining them. If we speak from an anxious or angry heart, we will strain relationships even as we think we are resolving matters. But if we speak judiciously (with careful thought) and speak persuasively (with the intent to win over our hearer), then the mishap turns into an occasion to build bridges and strengthen relationships.

What is your intent? To get people off your back? To get frustration off your chest? Then your words will be neither judicious nor persuasive. Your heart must be right. It's desire must be to glorify God, to build up the body of Christ, and to love one's neighbor, especially's one's Christian brother/sister.

Good Sense

For Monday, April 3, 2006
Proverbs 16:22

Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it,
but the instruction of fools is folly.

The “good sense” spoken of is good common sense, and certainly it is a fountain of life to the one who possesses it. Good sense is what makes one take heed to instruction and be able to detect the wise from the foolish. It puts knowledge to practical use and makes sense out of information.

The opposite is true for the fool. This second line about the fool can be taken in one of two ways. One, as is represented by the ESV, KJV, and NKJ, is that instructing or punishing fools is fruitless. Unlike people with good sense who profit from instruction, fools will not learn, no matter how they are taught. The other sense, as indicated by the NIV, is that the folly of fools brings them their own punishment. Whereas the good sense of the wise is a fountain of life to them, the folly of fools is their punishment. The word for “instruction” could be translated as “correction” or “punishment.”

Whatever the case, the point is this – it is what a person has within him that determines what he gains from life’s lessons. Two individuals can attend the same classes, have the same parents, and be given the same opportunities. The one with good sense will learn and benefit from what he is taught and experiences; the foolish one will not benefit and even pervert the lessons so that they are harmful to him. The one with good sense credits others for what he has learned and accepts responsibility for his mistakes. The foolish one congratulates himself for his cleverness and blames others for his errors.

In the western novel Shane, a farmer and his wife discuss hiring Shane as a farm hand. By his dress and manner they know that farming is not his line of work, and the wife comments that Shane probably doesn’t know a lot about farming. Her husband, who has sized up Shane as a man of integrity, replies, “What a man knows isn’t important. It’s what he is that counts.” Knowledge is important, of course, but the farmer understood that knowledge can be learned; what matters is the person having the spirit to learn.